Later that night Dean couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned for a while, but his brain wouldn’t calm down enough to let him sleep.
It was only a little after two in the morning, and Sam didn’t sleep all that much, so Dean padded down the hall to Sam’s bedroom. He hovered in the doorway, watching Sam sit on his bed in his boxers and read for a moment.
“Are you gonna get in bed with me or is it really exciting to stand there watching me read?” Sam asked, looking up from his book with a smirk on his face.
“Asshole,” Dean grumbled as he walked around to the far side of the bed and jumped onto it, bouncing Sam around as he landed.
Sam set his book down on the bedside table. “I can keep up the pretense of reading so you can awkwardly tell me what’s on your mind if you want,” Sam said as he scooted around in the bed until he was leaning against the headboard, turned to his left a little so he could look at Dean.
Dean sighed as he got comfortable, shoving a pillow between his right side and the headboard. “My mind won’t shut down. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Does it have anything to do with the phone call earlier?” Sam asked.
“Kind of,” Dean said as he looked down. He played with the edge of the pillowcase just to have something to do.
“You had a dazed look on your face before you took off and talked on the phone, and after the call you looked like you were gonna puke, but you were happy about whatever was making you wanna puke,” Sam said with a grin.
Dean chuckled as he nodded. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m here talking with my brother. No ranks. No responsibilities. It’s just us here. So what’s going on?” Sam asked, nudging Dean’s knee with the back of his hand.
Dean winced. “The guys wanted it to be something we all talked about together,” he said, keeping it sort of vague, though Sam was a quick study, so he knew Sam at least had an idea what was going on.
“I won’t tell anyone else unless it’s something that could potentially hurt the pack. It’s just between you and me, dude,” Sam said.
Dean looked up at Sam, nodding. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
“Does it have anything to do with Cas growling anytime someone touches you?” Sam asked with a grin.
Dean chuckled. “Yeah, it does.”
“Okay, c’mon, get it out before you die of awkward,” Sam said, whacking Dean’s leg with the back of his hand.
Dean took a cleansing breath. “I’m falling in love with Cas and Gabe,” he blurted, his chest feeling tight.
A smile broke out on Sam’s face that made his dimples show. “I knew you guys were getting close, but I thought Gabe was just along for the fun because he really has a good time with you guys. I kinda figured you and Cas were becoming a thing with the growling,” Sam said.
Dean smiled. “Yeah, he’s having a little bit of a hard time with sharing.”
“I’m really happy for you, Dean,” Sam said softly. “You guys seem to complement each other, and now that you say Gabe is involved too, I can see it. You doin’ okay with this?”
Dean snorted. “Meg talked me down some, but I’m still freaking out enough to have trouble sleeping.”
“Which particular aspect of it are you freaking out over the most?” Sam asked, and Dean wanted to smack the knowing look off Sam’s face as much as he wanted to hug Sam for it.
Dean winced, shaking his head. “I suck at long-term relationships and I’m gonna hurt them,” he blurted.
“Hmm,” Sam said, a mock thinking face on. “Let me see if I can channel Meg for a moment to see if I can find out what she said. Oh, yeah, okay. Love hurts, but it’s worth it? Of course you’re all going to hurt each other at one time or another, but if you don’t take the chance on love, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life?”
“Pretty much,” Dean said.
“Dean, I know you,” Sam said, his face softening, his voice going low and back into supportive-little-brother mode. “If you’ve gotten this far in your feelings for them, far enough to ask two of your favorite-est people in the world,” Sam drawled as he grinned at Dean, making Dean chuckle, “then you’re not just playing around. You’ve probably already decided you’re in for the long haul, it’s just you’re scared of hurting them, which is a valid concern, but don’t you think they’re worried they’re going to hurt you? Would you want them to give up on this when it’s at the beginning stages just because they were scared of fucking up?”
Dean snorted. “You suck,” he said affectionately.
“No, I’m awesome,” Sam said. “The awesome-est little brother ever.”
Dean smiled at Sam. “Yeah, you are,” he said, letting Sam know with his eyes that he really meant it.
“You’re one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met,” Sam continued. “You’re also one of the most caring. Dude, you won’t even sleep with omegas because you don’t want them to get attached and get hurt. The three of you are going to fuck up from time to time, and I’m sure this is part of what Meg said to you, but you’ve got a thick head, so I’m saying all this anyway. You already know in your heart they’re the ones, don’t you,” he said instead of asked.
Dean huffed. “I love them so much it already hurts.”
“See!” Sam said as he punched Dean in the arm. “I knew it by the look on your face. Now tell me you felt the same way about anyone in the past. I dare you. Because I know that’s what you’re so scared of. You’re thinking about your last few tries at long-term relationships. Tell me you don’t feel a difference. C’mon. Do it,” Sam said, poking Dean in the chest with each sentence.
Dean slapped Sam’s hand away. “Fine. Okay. It feels different. I know it feels different, but I’m still scared.”
Sam rested his hand on Dean’s knee. “It’s okay to be scared. It means they’re that important to you. But don’t let that stop you. Don’t be too afraid to start something that could be the best thing in your life just because you’re too scared you’re going to hurt them, because you’re going to hurt them. Everybody gets hurt. It’s what you do in between, how you handle it, how hard you work at your life together that makes it okay. And it’s how much they love you in return that makes the whole thing worth any hurt.”
“You sound so sure,” Dean said.
“Because I know all three of you guys,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “Okay, let’s look at it this way. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Dean huffed, his eyes wide. “That doesn’t help! The worst that could happen is I fuck up in a monumentally fucking stupid way and they end up hating me.”
“I don’t see them doing that,” Sam said, shaking his head. “Even if you guys end up finding that it doesn’t work out, I think you guys could still make running the house together work. Are you seriously telling me you’ve never pissed either one of them off?”
“No, but –,” Dean started.
“But nothing,” Sam said, his voiced raised a little. “You’ve gotten the both of them in trouble on more than one occasion, you were the one that opened your big mouth and got Andrea so pissed at Gabriel that she left him, you were the one that got Cas’ arm broken when you fell out of the treehouse, taking Cas with you, and then you landed on him and didn’t have a scratch on you. Did either of them ever give up on you?”
“No,” Dean whispered.
“Gabriel was depressed for weeks after Andrea left him,” Sam said. “But instead of swearing off you as a friend, he came over to the house and cried on your jeans for a week straight while you ran your fingers through his hair, telling him everything was going to be okay. Instead of hating you, Cas insisted you be the first one to write on his cast.”
Dean smiled. “You’re right. I felt like shit for those things, and also a whole lot more that I did, but they never did that thing that some kids do where they say they’re never gonna be your friend again. None of us ever did that to each other.”
“I know that’s childhood stuff and you’re adults now, but you’ve seen the best and worst of each other, you guys have a very strong bond, and if they love you enough to stick with you after the joyriding incident, then I think you’ve got yourself some very loyal guys,” Sam said.
Dean chuckled. “I’m the one that came up with the idea to steal mom’s car, then all three of us got it right in front of each other when the police took us home.”
“Yeah,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “I remember that night vividly. Missouri grabbed a hold of you, Pam got Gabe, and Ellen grabbed Cas. That night taught me to never steal mom’s car, whether she was at home or in another state.”
Dean snorted. “Yeah, and I learned just how bad a wooden spoon stings.”
“Really,” Sam said with a wince. “And hey, let’s not forget the really, really big perk of being mated to them.”
“What’s that?” Dean asked.
“It changes the rules in the house,” Sam said, his eyebrows waggling.
Dean groaned. “Oh, how could I have forgotten that part? I get to fuck them in the house!” he said with a grin.
“And you guys get to decide what happens as far as the rest of us,” Sam said with a nod.
“I have no idea how Gabe and Cas feel about sharing me once we’ve told everyone we’re mated,” Dean said, shaking his head.
“You have time,” Sam said with a shrug. “We’ll all respect your wishes. And if things need to change down the road, that’s okay too.”
“I don’t have to be just the house hole anymore,” Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes.
“Why do you look down on it so much?” Sam asked, a frown on his face.
“What, being the house hole?” Dean asked.
Sam sighed. “Dude, you’re the only one calling it that. Why do you do that? You wouldn’t be calling Kevin that if he was carus.”
“Forget about it,” Dean said as he shook his head. “It’s something I’m working through and I’ll get over it.”
“Is it just because you don’t like being told what to do?” Sam asked. “Is it because you’re not allowed to touch your dick? Or is it just that you didn’t get what you wanted?”
“Sam, I said forget it,” Dean growled.
“No,” Sam said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to forget it because you’re making an issue out of it on a daily basis, and I’m seeing a problem.”
“It’s my problem,” Dean said.
“Dean,” Sam said, sounding frustrated, “it’s not just your problem. We’re in this together.”
“I’m just having a hard time adjusting,” Dean said. “I came to the house thinking I was going to be house alpha. It’s not a deal breaker by any means, but it’s going to take some time for me to chill out about this.”
“But you act like it’s this horrible thing, something to be ashamed of, something that no one could possibly want,” Sam said with a frown. “You know full well there are people out there who would kill to be the house carus. It’s an honored position, not one to be ashamed of.”
“Sam,” Dean said, his body tense, “I don’t like being the center of attention. I never wanted this position. I don’t look down on anyone who is or wants to be a carus. I just didn’t want it for myself. I don’t want to be taken care of.”
Dean knew that by coming to Sam, he would get a more direct answer, more direct lines of reasoning than going to Meg. It was partly Sam’s personality, partly his rank in the house, and partly because of their relationship.
Meg wanted him to figure things out for himself, though she was tough as nails on him. Sam had no trouble slapping Dean in the face with honesty, which made for some heated discussions at times, but Dean wouldn’t have it any differently. He needed what Sam gave him, and Sam needed the way Dean would slap him right back with honesty when Sam had an issue.
Sam huffed, shaking his head. “You are so thick-headed and stubborn sometimes I just want to choke you. We’re not taking care of you like an invalid,” he said with a disgusted look on his face.
Dean winced. “Feels like it,” he mumbled.
Sam shook his head. “We all look out for each other, and because the house carus makes some of the really big decisions, they’re appreciated, they’re, I don’t know, they’re, well I don’t want to say pampered, because you’ll punch me, but fuck, Dean, the houses appreciate the responsibilities a carus has so fucking much that they support them, help with the things that otherwise would clutter up their lives and overwhelm them. They make the everyday life of a carus easier so those big fucking decisions don’t drain them or burn them out.”
“I know,” Dean growled.
“Is it the decision-making you don’t want?” Sam asked.
“No, I like that. It’s a huge responsibility, but I feel really good about everything I’ve done so far,” Dean said. “The part I don’t like is the fucking pampering. And, well, yeah, the not touching my dick sucks too.”
Sam huffed, his eyes wide. “Okay, so what you’re saying is you don’t simply want tons of responsibility, you also want to take care of every-fucking-thing, never get help, do it all yourself, and burn out after just a few months of living here.”
Dean looked down at the pillow, playing with it again. It sounded so horrible when Sam put it out on the table like that. It was what he wanted, but having it laid out so plainly made it sound just like what it was; unreasonable.
“Dean, look at me,” Sam said softly and Dean looked up. “The self-sacrificing and taking on huge responsibilities, those are awesome qualities in an alpha. Not being able to accept help isn’t.”
“I know,” Dean whispered.
“We all knew you’d be perfect for this position,” Sam said. “Mom and Dad were worried about the stress of it, but everyone was pulling for you. Remember I said it wasn’t a conspiracy?”
“Yeah,” Dean said with a nod.
“Well, it wasn’t. A conspiracy is a group plan for something harmful,” Sam said, shaking his head. “Yeah, we talked about you. All of us did. But you’ve talked about us. We all have places in this house, things that we’re good at. Kevin knew he never wanted to be a carus, and we all agreed he wasn’t the right personality, wasn’t old enough, experienced enough. But the times you’ve talked with us, you talked about the strengths and weaknesses of everybody too.”
“Yeah, but that’s what we’re supposed to do. We have to know that about each other,” Dean said.
“I agree,” Sam said. “But did we say to Cas’ face that he never had a chance of being anything but mid-rank because of his social awkwardness? Did we say to Gabe’s face that, while he’s great at caring about people, healing them, he could never make the tough decisions?”
Dean shook his head. “No. They knew that about themselves, and when we talked, we tried to look at what they could do with the abilities they had instead of focusing on the weaknesses, though we did mention the weaknesses so we could work with each other, complement each other.”
“Okay, look at it from our point of view now,” Sam said. “We see loyalty, self-sacrificing almost to a fault, an ability to make decisions that are for the good even if it kills you, even if it hurts, even if it means pissing people off. We also see someone who doesn’t think much of himself, who can lack self-confidence sometimes, but when he has support, when he knows in his heart something is right, he forgets about that lack of self-confidence and does the right thing. Does that sound about right?”
Dean sighed, his stomach clenching as everything Sam said was hitting him hard. “You knew what I was going to be,” he said instead of asked.
“None of us were sure. I wasn’t lying when I said that,” Sam said. “Establishing ranks in a new house usually comes with surprises. Everyone knows that. But you had ideas as to how everyone else was going to rank. Did you think Kevin was going to make a good carus?”
Dean shook his head. “No. I wasn’t sure who was going to be the right one, but I had a feeling Cas, Gabe, or Nick would take the role of carus. I never expected it to go down the way it did, but I’ve known all along Kevin wouldn’t be right for carus. He couldn’t.”
“You didn’t see yourself there because there were certain aspects of it you didn’t like, but if you take the things out of the equation that you don’t like, if you look at it objectively, can you see why everything worked out the way it did?” Sam asked gently.
Dean nodded. “Yeah.”
“It doesn’t mean you have to like every aspect of it, but you have to see that some of the aspects you don’t like are there because we support you, right? We’re taking care of the shit that would weigh you down,” Sam said.
Dean huffed. “Yeah.”
“Looking at it objectively again, if Cas, Gabe, or Nick were in your position, would you be supporting them? Would you try to take the load off them so they could concentrate on the big decisions?” Sam asked with a grin.
Dean smiled. “You know I would.”
“If you ask me, I think you’re awesome for the job,” Sam said, poking Dean in the stomach. “Think about Meg. Think about what an asset she’s been. She makes wonderful decisions. She’s had shit thrown at her in life that made her who she is today. She uses those experiences and her self-sacrificing spirit, she uses her ability to care about others to her advantage when making decisions.”
Dean winced. “You guys must have a lot of faith in me,” he said, not really wanting to know the answer, but at the same time needing it.
Sam smiled. “We do. A whole hell of a lot of faith.”
Dean blushed. He couldn’t help it. “I still don’t like the attention. And I still wanna touch my own dick for more than pissing.”
Sam chuckled. “You’ll adjust to the attention, especially if you think about it in a different way.”
“And what about the dick touching?” Dean asked with a grin.
Sam snorted. “That’ll change pretty quickly when you guys share your relationship status with the rest of us. You know, that announcement that I’ll be completely surprised to hear.”
Dean reached out and wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck, pulling him closer and hugging him hard enough to make Sam grunt, but Sam wrapped his arms around Dean’s midsection just the same.
“Thank you, Sammy,” Dean whispered. “And I really, really like sex.”
Sam laughed. “You dork,” he said as he pulled back. “I know you like sex. It’s a stress relief. You know that. Why do you think open sex lives are encouraged in alpha houses even when there are mates involved?”
Dean chuckled. “I know, I know. Stress relief. Big decisions. Blah, blah.”
“Asexual carus are rare and always need training in alternate forms of stress relief. You think we’d leave you hangin’?” Sam asked.
Dean smiled. “You guys are so generous,” he said as he rolled his eyes.
“Keeping you satisfied sexually is a hard job,” Sam said as he shook his head with mock horror, “but somebody’s gotta do it.”
Dean’s smile fell and he looked down at Sam’s hand, resting on Dean’s leg. “I’m not a toy,” Dean said, hating the words even as he said them.
Sam was quiet for so long that Dean looked up. What he saw surprised him. Sam looked pissed. Dean waited for Sam to gather steam. Whatever was coming next, Dean knew Sam wasn’t mad at him, rather Sam was upset over Dean feeling the need to clarify the fact he wasn’t a toy.
Sam’s nostrils flared, then he took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. “That’s why you’ve had that look on your face whenever we initiate sex,” he said instead of asked.
Dean shrugged. “Kinda.”
“It’s true that as a society, the United States is more open sexually than countries like Malaysia and Spain, but,” Sam huffed, shaking his head. “Dean, you’re not a toy. If you’re feeling like one, if we’re doing something to make you feel that way, you gotta say something, because I don’t see a whole lot of difference between our house and mom’s. We’re close, it’s stress relief, but it’s also because we enjoy doing things together, and the sex is a hell of a lot of fun. And I’m sure seven guys in a new house are a little more focused on sex than at other times, but I don’t, is that, is that how you feel? Like a toy?”
Dean winced. “I do and I don’t. You guys do seem like you include me instead of use me, but then there are times I get the feeling I’m just a warm body.”
“Can you give me an example?” Sam asked. “I wanna know what’s going on in your head, and I really wanna know if any one of us is doing something wrong or you’re seeing things differently than we are.”
Dean huffed. “The first thing that comes to mind is Kevin fucking me in the driveway while I was trying to work on the car.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “You didn’t ask him to do that?”
“No,” Dean said, shaking his head. “I was working on the car and he came up and started taking my jeans off.”
Sam sighed as he looked off over Dean’s left shoulder. When he looked Dean in the eye again, there was a funny look on his face, one that said Sam was pissed and feeling protective of his big brother.
Sam nodded. “Okay, um, I wanna ask you,” he said, stopping as if he couldn’t find the right words. “I know I said this is between you and me, but I want to talk to Benny about this. Are you okay with me doing that?”
Dean still didn’t know what the look on Sam’s face meant. “Yeah. The two of us are keeping an eye on Kevin, and I’m assuming Benny is too, so yeah, you can talk to him about it,” he said with a nod.
“Okay,” Sam said with a nod. “Did you get upset because he annoyed you? Were you in mechanic mode and didn’t wanna be bothered?”
Dean nodded. “It was a little bit of both and also the fact that I didn’t want anyone to know I was a carus, to know I was being taken care of, which was stupid because everybody knew anyway as soon as I started signing my name at the bottom of dispute documents and other shit.”
“Were those the only reasons you had a problem with him fucking you out front?” Sam asked.
“No,” Dean said, shaking his head. “Kevin was cold about it. He didn’t try to get me off and he was a little rough. But I didn’t flat out tell him I didn’t want to announce my status to the neighborhood. I just gave him a hard time because I was busy.”
“Do you feel any better about other people knowing your status now?” Sam asked.
Dean opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He huffed, rolling his eyes. Sam gave him a small smile that said ‘I know you still have a problem with it.’
“Okay,” Sam said with a nod. “You know it’s not a weakness, right? In fact a whole hell of a lot of people see it as the exact opposite. It’s an honor, and you probably made a few people jealous if anybody saw you.”
Dean snorted. “I know, which is why I said it’s my issue,” he said with a shrug. “I’m not an exhibitionist, and to have him fuck me in the driveway, I don’t know, I felt exposed, like I not only told the whole neighborhood what my rank was, I shouted it. There’s no reason for me to want to hide it other than my own issues. And there was no way for someone to know I was carus just because I was getting fucked outside, so I was just being paranoid and self-conscious,” he said, shaking his head.
“Your feelings are completely valid whether there’s a logical reason for them or not,” Sam said, and he really meant it. Dean could tell.
Dean nodded. “I know, but Kevin doesn’t know that because I’ve never said anything to him. There’d be no reason for him to know I didn’t wanna be fucked out front. For all I know, he was trying to make everyone jealous of me,” he said with a shrug.
“Okay, anything else?” Sam asked.
Dean shook his head. “No,” he lied. Sam looked upset enough already. He could talk to them about the rest of it another time.
Sam nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk with Benny tomorrow,” he said as he looked over at the clock on the bedside table. “You think you can get to sleep yet?”
“Well,” Dean drawled, “I always sleep better if I’ve gotten off.”
Sam snorted. “I think I can help you out with that. What did you have in mind?”
Dean pretended to think hard about it. “Hmm, what to do,” he said, then brought his foot up, planted it on Sam’s stomach, and shoved him off the bed.
“Hey!” Sam yelped as he hit the floor, then started chuckling. “Oh, you are on!”
Dean grinned as Sam threw himself back onto the bed, grabbing at Dean’s legs. Dean kicked out of the hold Sam had on him and launched himself at Sam, the two of them tumbling to the floor.
“You’re gonna wake everybody up,” Dean hissed, then covered Sam’s mouth with his hands. He could feel Sam smiling against his palm.
Sam reached up between them, popping the buttons on Dean’s pants, then roughly pulled at them, getting the jeans and underwear just below Dean’s ass, Dean’s already hardening cock poking out of his jeans.
Dean gasped as Sam licked Dean’s palm, Sam’s hand wrapping around Dean’s left ass cheek to play with his hole. Dean groaned, grinding against Sam’s stomach. The tip of Dean’s cock rubbed against Sam’s bare skin where Sam’s shirt had ridden up.
“Oh, fuck, just, just lemme fuck your stomach,” Dean whispered, his right hand moving down to Sam’s neck, his left still covering Sam’s mouth. He put some pressure on Sam’s neck, cutting off Sam’s breathing without hurting him.
Sam pushed a dry finger into Dean, wiggling his finger just inside to tease Dean. Dean humped Sam’s stomach, watching as Sam’s lungs started to fight the lack of oxygen, his stomach heaving soon after. He eased off of Sam’s throat and Sam sucked air in through his mouth for the few short moments Dean took his hand off Sam’s mouth.
Dean put his hand back over Sam’s mouth and Sam moaned, his cock hard enough that Dean could feel it poking the underside of his left ass cheek, most likely coming through the slit in Sam’s boxers. Sam shifted his hips as much as he could with Dean riding his stomach, and Dean found it amazingly hot to feel Sam’s cock poking insistently at his ass cheek.
Sam’s eyes widened as Dean pushed down on his neck again, cutting off the air once more. Dean humped Sam’s stomach faster, the precome leaking out of his dick slicking the way and shining in the dim light of the bedside lamp.
Dean pushed Sam further this time, keeping his air cut off until Sam’s right hand gripped Dean’s right thigh tightly, his fingers digging in. This time when Dean took his hand off Sam’s mouth, Sam not only sucked air, but as he breathed out he growled.
Sam closed his eyes in pleasure as Dean put his hand back over Sam’s mouth, barely giving him time to get some air, Dean’s hand pushing down on his throat again. Sam’s hips moved faster, his fingers digging in deeper, probably leaving bruises behind.
“C’mon, Sammy,” Dean hissed. “C’mon. Come for me. I’m not gonna let you breathe this time until you come. So you’d better hurry up. As soon as I feel your jizz hitting my ass, I’ll let you breathe. C’mon, Sammy.”
Sam’s chest heaved along with his stomach, his finger stilling inside Dean. He was obviously trying to keep from pushing Dean’s hands away. Dean knew it was a natural instinct. Sam didn’t really want to push his hands away. They’d played this before. He knew Sam’s limits. And he also knew that Sam came harder when they used breathplay than he did any other time.
“C’mon, c’mon, Sammy,” Dean encouraged as Sam reached up with his left hand, grabbing Dean’s right wrist.
He tried to pull Dean’s hand away, and Dean would’ve let go if Sam hadn’t started shaking. He knew Sam’s body too well. He held on just a few seconds longer as Sam’s body tensed, his back bowing as he started to come.
Dean let go of Sam’s mouth and neck at the same time and Sam gasped in a breath, his chest heaving for a completely different reason as he drank in all the oxygen his body wanted, his eyes closed as he rode an orgasm that was good enough to render him speechless, never making a noise beside the breathing his hips rolling up against Dean.
It was always so hot that Dean would come before Sam was done, and this time was no exception. Dean fucked down onto Sam’s stomach, groaning as Sam opened his eyes a little, looking up at Dean, watching him come.
Dean rubbed his release into Sam’s stomach, getting a kick out of marking Sam with his scent. Dean leaned down and kissed the corner of Sam’s mouth, then dropped himself to Sam’s right, landing on the floor instead of Sam. They both panted for quite a while before either one of them even tried to move.
“You’re too good at that,” Sam croaked.
“Yes, I am,” Dean gloated.
Sam huffed out a laugh. “I think I can sleep now. Can you?” he asked.
“Hell yeah,” Dean groaned. “I can’t make it to my bed, but I can definitely sleep.”
Sam snorted. “Wanna sleep with me?”
“Do I have to get up onto the bed?” Dean whined.
“Yeah, c’mon, kick off your jeans and crawl in with me,” Sam said as he sat up, wobbly and uncoordinated in a way one can only get after great sex.
Dean grunted as he kicked his jeans off, his underwear going with them, then he climbed onto the bed, Sam getting in after him. They snuggled up together and fell asleep, Dean never realizing he still had his T-shirt on.
* * *
The next morning Dean wasn’t really in the mood to get prepared. Not that he’d had a good old time getting prepared the other days he’d been at the house, but he’d awakened with a bit of a headache from not getting much sleep, he didn’t feel all that good, and when Kevin walked into the bathroom and grabbed the hose out of the cabinet, Dean growled.
“Don’t even start,” Kevin barked. “You know I’ll get Benny, and then you’ll have to start the day out with a red ass.”
Dean pulled the medicine cabinet door open and grabbed the Tylenol out, dumping a few pills out onto his hand and popping them in his mouth. He cupped his hand under the faucet, sipping up just enough water to get the pills down, then wiped his mouth with his towel.
Kevin was hooking the hose up in the shower, and Dean felt irritated enough that he tossed the towel at the back of Kevin’s head.
“That was childish,” Kevin snorted.
“Still made me feel better,” Dean grumbled, feeling a little childish even if he would never admit it.
“Yeah, we’ll see how much better you feel when I kick your ass,” Kevin grumbled back.
Dean chuckled. “Like that’s gonna happen,” he said as he stepped into the shower.
Kevin growled, low and menacing as he shoved the tip of the hose into Dean without any lube and without using his fingers first.
“Dude!” Dean barked as he flinched, the edge of the tube catching on his skin and leaving behind a sting. He turned his head to glare at Kevin, but he didn’t pull his ass away. The tube was already inside him. He may as well just get it over with.
Kevin started the water, then looked Dean in the eye. “You watch the attitude. You watch how you treat your alpha. I’m not gonna put up with your shit anymore. It’s enough. You knock it off or I’m gonna make life very, very unpleasant for you.”
Dean stared him down, his hands balled into fists as he forced himself to remain calm. He could really hurt Kevin, and by the time anyone came into see what was going on, the damage would already be done.
But is that the way he wanted to run their house? Did he want to beat the shit out of a higher ranking alpha just because the guy was being an asshole? Especially after Dean had provoked him by being an asshole in the first place? Kevin was a part of the house. He was very good at what he did.
Kevin reached behind himself, cranking the faucet up, refusing to break eye contact first, but upping the stakes by filling Dean up faster with water. Kevin raised one eyebrow in challenge.
Dean could easily pull the tube out of his ass. He could also easily beat the shit out of Kevin. But Dean knew he was being a jerk, that Kevin was reacting to Dean being prickly and grumpy. Dean knew he should stop, but he didn’t feel like stopping.
The water was filling Dean up quickly, and it was already more water than he’d taken the other days he’d been at the house. Dean winced as he broke eye contact, looking down at the tiles under his fists.
“Good boy,” Kevin drawled, taking his time in turning around and slowly turning the flow of water off. “Take care of the water, and when you come in to ask me to prepare your hole,” Kevin said, his tone low and a bit of a growl in his voice, “you’re going to crawl.”
Dean squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against the cool tile as Kevin left him alone in the shower. He wanted to punch the tiles. He wanted to punch Kevin’s face. He’d end up fixing the tile himself, and the other alphas would ask why he’d done it, so instead he hurried over to the toilet to take care of the water, his stomach cramping.
After he’d finished and wiped down the bathroom, put his towel on the hook and pulled on some boxer briefs, he stood in the doorway of the bathroom. His chest was burning, and his hands were shaking. It wasn’t out of fear. There wasn’t one ounce of fear running through him. It was anger.
Dean got down on his knees and crawled, looking down at the floor and remembering Meg. Remembering how hard she had said it was to be in her position at first, how much she’d rebelled, how it had been good for her once she stopped fighting it, because her alphas all loved her and wanted the best for her.
He knew he was being a prick. He’d told Kevin flat out that he was pushing him, that Kevin should show him he was Dean’s alpha. Kevin was doing that, but it didn’t mean Dean had to like it.
Kevin was folding his clothes and putting them away when Dean crawled into his room. Dean crawled up behind him and sat down on his heels.
“Please prepare me, alpha,” Dean said, working hard at keeping his voice submissive, though he was probably failing.
Kevin turned. “Turn around, put your chest on the floor, and spread your legs.”
Dean fought his first response, which would’ve been to punch Kevin in the balls. Instead he did as he was told. He hissed as Kevin shoved two fingers into him at once, the spot where the tube had caught on his skin burned as Kevin stretched him.
Kevin finished and smacked Dean’s ass. “Turn around and give me a blowjob,” he ordered. “No teeth.”
Dean turned around to find Kevin’s cock in his face, already hard and leaking. He didn’t know if the confrontation had made Kevin hard or if Kevin had been getting himself hard while Dean was in the bathroom so he’d be ready for his blowjob.
Kevin grabbed a handful of Dean’s hair and pulled him closer, shoving his cock in Dean’s mouth. Dean grabbed onto Kevin’s thighs for balance and kept his teeth out of the way.
Dean choked as Kevin pushed him down onto his cock. He pushed away and Kevin growled, so Dean worked at relaxing his throat, but as soon as Kevin pulled him onto his cock again, Dean choked.
Kevin leaned down. “This isn’t cute. I know you can suck cock better than this. Knock it off,” he said, then stood back up and wrapped his hand around the back of Dean’s head, pushing Dean down onto his cock.
Dean’s eyes were watering from the choking, and when he tried to push away from Kevin again, Kevin growled, shoving Dean backward and off balance so he fell onto his back. Kevin was on top of him in an instant, snarling as he wrapped his hands around Dean’s throat and squeezed.
That was enough. Dean was getting near the limit of what he’d put up with before, but this went completely over the line. He balled his right hand into a fist and swung his arm out side, coming down on Kevin’s left side.
Kevin’s eyes widened and his grip on Dean’s neck loosened. Dean reached up and grabbed Kevin by the neck with his left hand and shoved him off to Dean’s right. He followed Kevin, straddling him and getting a hold of both of his wrists, trapping them against the carpet.
“Get off me!” Kevin screamed as he fought. “Get the fuck off me! Get the fuck off me and do as you’re fucking told!”
“This isn’t the way to handle it,” Dean said, knowing he was just as wrong as Kevin.
“Are you fucking insane?” Kevin growled.
Dean saw someone walk up to the doorway of the room and stand there. He turned his head and saw Sam standing there. Sam didn’t look alarmed, and he didn’t seem ready to intervene. In fact the look on Sam’s face said he’d hoped something like this wouldn’t happen, but kind of figured it would.
“He’s fucking insane!” Kevin said to Sam. “Get him off me! Do your fucking job and put him in his place!”
“You’re his alpha,” Sam said with a shrug. “Either you come to one of us to handle things or you take care of it yourself. Since you didn’t come to me before getting physical, I’m going to assume you’re going to take care of it.”
“Fuck!” Kevin screamed, his face turning red.
He growled and fought hard, but Dean didn’t let go, didn’t do anything to him, just held on. Kevin squeezed his eyes shut as he panted through his teeth, then Dean noticed there were tears leaking out of the corners of Kevin’s eyes.
Kevin’s breathing hitched and he made a keening noise as he started to not only cry, but started to sob. The fight left his body as he cried brokenly.
“I did something horrible,” Kevin wailed, and Dean glanced to his right to see Benny had joined Sam in the doorway. “Really fucking horrible!”
Kevin opened his eyes, trying to blink away the tears, but more were coming. The look in his eyes, on his face made Dean’s stomach clench.
“What did ya do, kid?” Benny asked, loud enough for Kevin to hear him over his sobs, but not loud enough to make it threatening.
“I just wanted him to listen to me, I swear!” Kevin said, his chest heaving.
“He was rough with the enema,” Dean said, glancing up at Benny.
“No!” Kevin screamed into Dean’s face, then relaxed back down into the carpet. “I mean, yes, I’m really sorry I did that, but that’s not the worst thing I did.”
Kevin’s face was a mess, but Dean didn’t let go of him. Kevin was shivering, tears still running down into his hair.
“I told them y-you liked shit I know you don’t like,” Kevin hissed, wincing as he said it.
“What do you mean?” Dean asked, his chest feeling tight. He saw more movement in the doorway. At least two more house alphas had joined Benny and Sam at the door.
“I just wanted to keep you in line,” Kevin said, his bottom lip wobbling. “It was a really shitty thing to do, but you just kept fighting me, and I didn’t wanna run to Benny or Sam every time you treated me like a fucking child!”
“What did you do?” Dean asked, keeping calm.
“After the first time I tried to g-give you an enema,” Kevin said, “when Benny had to beat your ass. I thought if you had to submit more to me, it would make you fucking listen to me. I manipulated them to teach you a lesson! I t-told them you asked for the breeding bench. I told them you liked it rough. I even fucking told them you liked cock and ball torture!” he said, his voice raising with each sentence until he sounded close to manic.
Dean didn’t know what to say. He’d been pushing Kevin, sure, but he didn’t realize Kevin had been so upset over it as to manipulate the others into doing things to him. Dean thought it made sense. He’d been trying to get Dean under control when he didn’t have the physical strength to do so, but he’d chosen the wrong way to do it, and there was no excuse for what he had even if Dean wasn’t innocent in this either.
“I saw the look on your face each time you did something I told them you liked,” Kevin continued. “I felt like shit because I knew you hadn’t asked for it, and I knew that the guys were only doing it because I told them to, but I didn’t know what else to do with you.”
Benny walked into the room and motioned for Dean to get off Kevin. Dean did, and Benny helped Kevin to his feet.
“We all need to talk,” Benny said, “but right now I want to get Gabe in here to take a look at ya,” he said as he nodded toward Dean.
Dean shrugged. “I’m good.”
“Did he hurt you?” Sam asked as he took a few steps into the room.
“I’m okay, Sam,” Dean said, brushing Sam off.
Sam sighed. “Gabe, come check him out,” he called down the hallway.
“Sam! I said I was okay,” Dean growled.
“And you’re lying,” Sam said, pinning Dean with a stern look.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, and I’m gonna take a look at your side,” Benny said, putting a hand on Kevin’s back and guiding him out of the room.
Sam stood to the side as Gabe walked in carrying his medical bag. “Tell me what’s hurting so I can start with that,” he said as he knelt down in front of Dean. “And you’d better not lie to me,” Gabe said with a bit of a growl in his voice.
Dean looked toward the door, where Sam and Cas were watching. Nick was pacing just outside the door, his face tight as he talked in low tones on the phone.
“I got mouthy,” Dean admitted.
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Gabe said. “And it doesn’t excuse his behavior. If he was having a problem with you, this was a terrible way of handling it, and you know it.”
“I was really mouthy,” Dean said, looking Gabe in the eye. “And I threw a towel at his head because I was being a shit.”
Gabe nodded. “All your shitty behavior will be dealt with. What I wanna know now is where he hurt you.”
Dean winced. “He shoved the enema hose in me without lube, and my throat is a little sore because he decided to grab my head and fuck my face,” he said. He hated that admitting to what happened felt like weakness. He knew it wasn’t, but he couldn’t help how he felt about it.
Gabe pulled a penlight out of his bag. “Open your mouth,” he said, then carefully checked Dean’s throat. “It’s a little red, but I don’t see any tears or blood. You’ve got a split lip, but the bleeding has already stopped, and I’ll give you something to help it heal faster. Now turn around and let me check your asshole.”
Dean felt ridiculous. Letting someone play with your asshole during sex was one thing. Letting three alphas check out his asshole because it was sore was an entirely different thing.
“Lie down on your stomach,” Gabe said, and though it was a command, Gabe’s voice was gentle and caring.
Dean did as he was told, cringing as Sam turned the overhead light on so they could see better. He hissed as Gabe pushed a gloved finger into him, even though Gabe was being gentle. It felt like forever that Gabe was carefully checking him, but he finally pulled his finger out.
“You’ve got some bleeding and a small tear, but it’s not bad enough to need stitches,” Gabe said. “I’m going to put some cream inside you, and you’re to take it easy for the next two to three, no penetration. Got it, guys?” he asked, obviously directing it toward the two men in the doorway.
“No problem,” Sam said, followed by Cas’ firm, “Understood.”
Dean waited patiently while Gabe pulled a tube of cream out of his bag and carefully pushed it into Dean’s hole.
“All right,” Gabe said, taking his gloves off. “You can get up now.”
Dean got to his knees and turned around, sitting back on his heels. He saw his underwear a few feet away and nearly laughed at the thought of them falling off him in the wrestling match.
“I want to know something,” Gabe said, his eyes warm and his demeanor making Dean feel comfortable and about as far from being put on the spot as one could get in this situation. “I have to ask because they’re going to ask me.”
“I know,” Dean said with a nod, knowing the alpha primes were going to ask all of them about this, including Gabe.
“Who started it?” Gabe asked.
Dean sighed. “Do you consider a towel being thrown at the back of Kevin’s head ‘starting it’?”
“Did you do it with the intention of hurting him?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.
Dean shook his head. “No. But did I provoke him? Yes.”
“I want to know who showed the first act of aggression, the first physical confrontation,” Gabe said.
Dean sighed. “I was in a bad mood, and I tossed the towel at his head, he said it was childish, I said it made me feel better, he said we’d see how much better I felt when he kicked my ass, I said ‘like that’s gonna happen,’ and when I got into the shower, he shoved the hose in me without lube. He usually lubes up his finger and pushes that in first before he puts the lubed hose in. I stared him down, but he turned up the water until I showed my submission by looking away.”
“Okay, and how did the rest happen?” Gabe asked.
Dean could tell what he’d already said had gotten to Gabe. It wouldn’t be obvious to everyone that he was pissed, but Dean could see it in the tightness at the corners of his eyes.
“Kevin told me I had to crawl into his room and ask him to prepare me,” Dean continued.
“Crawl?” Gabe asked, a frown on his face.
Dean winced. “He’s had me ask him for it before when I’ve gotten mouthy, but he’s never told me to crawl in here before. After he prepared me, he said he wanted a blowjob. He was rough, and I knew he was pissed, so I kept my teeth outta the way and tried to take his cock, but he grabbed the back of my head and shoved me down onto his cock.”
“Did he let you up to breathe or just hold you down?” Gabe asked.
Dean shook his head. “He held me down until I pushed away a few times, then he got more pissed, told me he knew I could suck cock better than that, and when he tried again, I pushed harder. He shoved me onto my back, jumped on me, and started choking me.”
“I need you to tell me exactly what you did to him,” Gabe said. “You have to be honest in case they ask.”
“I hit him with my right fist in his left side area below his ribcage,” Dean said. “It stunned him, so I grabbed his neck, threw him off me, then pinned him down.”
“That’s all you did to him?” Gabe asked.
“Yeah,” Dean said with a nod. “He’s no match for me when it comes to physical strength, so once I got him on the ground, I didn’t have to do anything else to him.”
“Okay,” Gabe said. “Thank you for being honest with me. It’s not fun to rehash shit like this, and you did great,” he said as he leaned forward and kissed the corner of Dean’s mouth, the corner farthest away from his split lip.
Nick stepped into the room, Cas letting him by and then standing to the side with Sam. Benny and Kevin came back to the doorway, Kevin still looking like shit, but his face was cleaned up.
“I called the Sacramento Alpha Prime House,” Nick said.
Dean winced. “Aww, man. They’re coming here, aren’t they?” he asked, trying to keep the whine out of his voice, but failing miserably.
Sam chuckled as Nick nodded. “Mom’s gonna be on the warpath,” Sam said with a grin.
“I’m fine,” Dean said, gesturing at himself. “We’re gonna work this out between us. They don’t need to come.”
Benny smiled. “You’re momma’s not comin’ here to kiss your boo-boos, kid. She knows you’re an adult alpha, fully capable of taking care of himself and his house. You’re momma’s comin’ because it’s her responsibility to investigate things like this in her territory. And while she’s here, she’ll make sure her baby boy’s okay,” Benny said with a grin.
Dean groaned. “You’re an asshole,” he grumbled playfully.
“Hey,” Benny said, pointing at Dean, “just because I’m gonna enjoy watching an alpha momma protecting her young and taking care of business, that doesn’t mean I’m an asshole. It means your momma’s impressive when she’s pissed and I get to watch.”
Everyone chuckled except Kevin. Kevin looked devastated. He looked younger than he normally did, his shoulders down and taking up the least amount of space in the room as possible. His world had taken a blow, that was clearly seen.
Gabe pulled a piece of gauze and a small bottle of disinfectant out of his bad. He wet the gauze with the disinfectant, then dabbed at Dean’s split lip.
After putting the disinfectant back in his bag and handing the gauze to Sam to throw away, he took a tube of ointment out of his bag and squirted a little on his un-gloved finger, then very gently applied the ointment to Dean’s lip.
It felt like such an intimate gesture that Dean barely breathed the whole time. After Gabe put the ointment back in his bag, he reached up and ran his fingers over Dean’s right cheek. It didn’t feel like the touch of someone who was pitying him, but rather of a lover happy that things were going to be okay even if Gabe wasn’t happy about what had happened to Dean.
Dean gave him a little smile, then leaned in and kissed Gabe, being careful not to break his lip open again. When he pulled away, he turned to the other men in the room.
“If I know my family, everyone is coming,” Dean said, and he saw Sam nod his agreement. “So we’d better set up the house for ten guests.”
“Ten?” Sam asked, a puzzled expression on his face.
Dean smiled up at Sam. “Meggie’s got a girlfriend,” he sing-songed.
“Awesome! Who?” Sam asked, smiling so big his dimples were showing.
Gabe snorted. “Who else? Meg’s been drooling over Jody for months,” he said.
“You knew? How did you know?” Dean asked, his eyes wide.
“Because I’m observant,” Gabe said, waggling his eyebrows.
“Dude, you saw them?” Dean asked, his cock twitching in his pants despite the situation.
“I may have seen some stuff,” Gabe said, obviously getting a kick out of the fact that he had info the others wanted.
Kevin wiped at his eyes again. “Um, did you call the Vancouver Alpha Prime House?” he asked, his voice shaky and small.
Nick shook his head. “No, but I’m sure the Sacramento Primes will call Vancouver with an update.”
Kevin nodded. “Alpha Tran runs a very strict house, but it’s also very loving. They treat each other like family, even referring to the older ones of the house as mothers and fathers, the younger ones as siblings. She’s going to have a lot to say to me.”
“I’d bet money on it,” Gabe said with a nod. “I’d also bet that she’ll be wanting to talk to you,” he said, looking at Dean.
Dean’s eyes widened. “Why?” he asked.
Sam chuckled. “Dean’s scared of grammy,” he stage-whispered.
Gabe laughed. “Well, she’ll probably want to know full details and she’ll want to ensure that you know it wasn’t acceptable behavior, that her house isn’t run that way so there’ll be no mistaking what her house stands for. She’ll also want to talk with you about your behavior.”
“I like her,” Cas said firmly.
Dean smiled. “Yeah, I think she sounds pretty cool even if she does give me a reaming,” he said with a nod.
Kevin managed a small smile. “She is cool,” he said.
“Mom’s gonna be here in less than three hours,” Sam said. “We gotta get something set up for the rest of us so the primes can have the beds.”
“I’ll get fresh linens,” Cas said and took off for the laundry room.
Dean chuckled. “He probably thinks he’s gonna cover up the smell of seven alphas fucking in every room of this house,” he said, rolling his eyes.
Again everyone but Kevin chuckled, then Sam started following Cas. “I’ll help him,” Sam said as he left.
“I’ll get dinner started,” Nick said, turning to Kevin. “You’re going to help me,” he said to Kevin, then walked out of the room.
Kevin’s face went white, but he followed after Nick. Dean felt a little bad for him. Nick could be intimidating, but Dean didn’t think Nick would do anything to Kevin. Everything was getting fucked up fast, but Dean hoped that getting things out in the open, getting this all dealt with would be for the good.
Dean needed to shape up himself. He knew the blame didn’t rest on Kevin alone. At no time had Dean been forced to give Kevin a hard time.
“Dean,” Benny said, a not-so-happy look on his face. “I’m gonna give you the same choice I gave Kevin. Would you rather I deal with your behavior or let your momma handle it?”
Dean cringed. “Fuck,” he breathed as he shivered.
“Can I make a suggestion?” Gabe asked.
“Yeah, anything,” Dean said, looking to Gabe like he might get him out of this.
Gabe winced. “I can’t save you from this, but if I know your mom as well as I think I do, I’d suggest letting her handle it. Do you remember that time you and Sam got in the prank war? You put Nair in the shampoo bottles and half the house went bald?”
Dean groaned as he looked over at Benny. “Meg was one of the ones that went bald, and she spanked me for it. When Mom got home from the conference she had been attending, she spanked me again. I tried to tell her Meg had already spanked me. Mom said it was great that Meg let me know what I had done was wrong, but that Mom wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it.”
“Wow,” Benny said, shaking his head. “The more I get to know your momma, the more I like her.”
Dean gasped in mock horror. “You would think she was cool,” he grumbled.
“Did you ever forget the lesson?” Benny asked, one eyebrow raised, a grin spreading tugging the corners of his lips.
Dean snorted. “Hell no,” he said.
Benny shrugged. “Remarkable woman,” he said as if it was fact.
Dean rolled his eyes as he headed off toward the first bedroom to pull the sheets off the bed. “You suck.”
“I’ll try and soften her up for ya,” Benny said.
“Oh, fuck, no!” Dean yelled as he started bundling all the bedding together. “You’re gonna get me in more trouble if you do that and you might end up getting yourself in trouble too. Just ask Gabe.”
Dean smiled as he heard Gabe groaning.