OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I’m so sorry.
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.
OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.
Me: *blinks* What?
OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.
Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.
OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but we’ll run with it.
Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.
OBGYN: Not until you are 35.
Me: Dah fuq?
OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization won’t even consider any treatment unless it’s life or death until you’re 35.
OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.
Me: I’m 31. I didn’t want kids when I was 11, I didn’t want them at 21, and I sure as shit don’t want them now. Can’t I just sign a form that says “I don’t ever want a baby take it out, take it out now”?
OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.
TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.
This is just evil. They are literally refusing to treat a potentially life-threatening condition, not just without the patient’s consent but despite the patient’s protest. Evil.
My surgeon refused the perform the surgery even though my ob/gyn said I desperately needed it. A pregnancy will kill me due to medical conditions. Surgeon, a man, said I want a baby, brushed off the fact it’d kill me, and insisted I have a child first. After a month of fighting this shit he agreed to talk to my husband only because if he had my husband’s PERMISSION would he perform the surgery. I’d never heard my husband speak with so many colorful words so creatively at that volume in my life. Surgery was a week later. Endometrial ablation (uterus cauterized) due to the severity of my menstrual cycles, tubal ligation (tubes tied) to make for damn sure I never get pregnant.
The surgeon insisted he needed my husband’s permission. My medical conditions, my mental health conditions, all contributing to me being permanently disabled, didn’t mean a damn fucking thing. The fact a pregnancy would KILL ME didn’t matter at all. My extreme dislike of children (10 minute tolerance, no joke), no maternal instinct, could all suddenly change and I would magically want a baby.
The only way my insurance would cover the surgery (would cost $17k total otherwise) is if it was marked as “medically necessary”. My ob/gyn filled out that paperwork and filed it before the surgeon had a chance to touch that shit. She risked losing her job so I could live.
This is why women need reproduction rights, why women need control over their own bodies, why we should never need the permission of a man in order for us to do what we need and want to do with our reproductive parts.
(CW: Mention of suicidal ideation)
Don’t you just LOVE how we are actually thought to be INCAPABLE of making out own health choices? Isn’t it the BEST? Let me tell you all a story. Now, my medical issues didn’t stem from my reproductive organs, although as a woman who never wants kids (and doesn’t even really like them), I am no stranger to the whole “But ALL women want kids” bullshit. But nah- this goes beyond baby-making capacity.
When I was about a freshman in high school, stuff started to go… wrong. I guess that’s the best way I can describe it. I started to get really, really moody. I was always exhausted, I gained a LOT of weight really fast. By my sophomore year, I was feeling miserable and angry every day. I would wake up like that. I ended up spending the whole year depressed, alone, and hating myself because of how I felt and all the weight I had gained.
Now, my mom (who is like, the BEST) knew that something was up, even if I wouldn’t talk to her about it (like an angsty teen). So, she decided that she was going to try and get me some help. By the time Junior year rolled around, I was having suicidal ideations and basically refused to do anything- I just didn’t have the energy or the drive. Finally, we started to talk to some doctors. And you know what?
Pretty much every single one of them blew us off. I was told that I was “just a teenager” or “you know how teenage girls are”. I was told that “oh, she just has really bad PMS” (which, btw, I had been on birth control pills for over a year by then to control my very heavy periods, so no, that wasn’t it). I even saw one psychologist, a woman, who told my mother than I was a spoiled, entitled bitch who needed a filter, because clearly I just wanted attention.
It took us over a dozen doctors and a year to finally get me diagnosed with depression. But even THAT didn’t explain everything. I was still gaining weight and experiencing other weird symptoms- I was ALWAYS freezing cold. That didn’t match up. But once they said I had depression, no one was willing to listen to me or my mom and investigate. Until FINALLY, by accident, they found something on a routine blood test. My thyroid was fucked up. That was it. two and a half years of severe depression and about four overall of feeling “off”. And it only took a single blood test.
Now, I am on meds, I am feeling great. But the fact remains that, if I hadn’t had that blood test (which wasn’t even a diagnostic, it was a routine check-up), I probably wouldn’t be here. And it still makes my blood boil when I look back and think about how we were blown off by so many who assumed that I couldn’t possibly have anything wrong with me. Even though my mom and I both KNEW something was up.
Tl:DR- trust women to make their own fucking healthcare choices, people. This is getting old and hurting people.
As a note: i dunno op’s country but in the USA it absolutely is not illegal to do this before the patient is 35. The doctor is mistaken or lying.
It isn’t illegal in the US, but they’ll still refuse it. And it’s not just because you might want to get pregnant once.
My uncle’s wife had her first baby at 15 (she wanted just one kid), and after her second kid when she was 17 (which she didn’t want, but her abusive boyfriend wouldn’t let her use any form of birth control) she begged the doctors to tie her tubes or do an oophorectomy or SOMETHING.
They said they wouldn’t do it until she was 35 (she was 18) and/or had THREE children AND they wanted to know her boyfriend/husband was okay with it!
She went to multiple doctors and clinics, and no matter how much she fought them and explained how her boyfriend was a deadbeat creep who didn’t work and she was working three jobs just to feed her family while her husband slept all day and refused to watch the two kids, nobody helped her.
EVERY DOCTOR REFUSED.
She ended up giving the third baby up for adoption, and THEN the docs let her get her tubes tied. She found a way around the welfare system, claimed that her boyfriend was making the money at the three jobs (her bosses were amazing!), so she got herself on welfare and food stamps.
So basically the doctors forced her to have THREE kids when she only wanted one, making it necessary for her to need government help AND three jobs just to get by all because doctors think a woman is nothing but a baby making machine who couldn’t possibly want only one baby or (horror of horrors) no babies at all *gasp!!*
This wasn’t some 1950s bullshit either. The baby she adopted out just turned 18.