Types of fanfic summaries and what they mean

First paragraph of the actual fic: I judge the whole fic by the first words and I assume you do too so here it is
“Just a series or drabbles/headcanons/prompts”: Someday I want to write an incredible 200k fic but for now have fun going through all the chapters trying to figure out which one is the one you actually want to read
“Will X be able to find love before Y happens?” And other questions: I read entirely too many YA novels
Quote from the actual fic: I watch entirely too many movie trailers
“Basically just an X fic with Y characters”: I can probably write a good summary if I cared a little more
Song lyrics: I have no idea how summaries work and I’m trying to be like the people with poem quotes
Poem quotes: either the best thing you’ve ever read or 13-year old English literature purple prose there is no in-between
Lol I can’t do summaries: I’m not entirely sure if I want you to read my fic
“Wtf is this” or other author questioning themselves: it’s either porn or crack
Explicit rated fics: listen my man I know you’re not gonna really read the summary just read the tags and decide if my sin is the sin for you
Paragraph of tags and one line summary: ok listen I can’t do summaries but I’ve got this ok IVE GOT THIS
dictionary definition: fluff or angst here you go
Either a meme or a tumblr imagine your otp: I was bored and I had emotions about my ship you can have emotions about them too
Paragraph from the source the fic is from: I’ve basically written my headcanon and made it prettier
“I’m so sorry” or “I cried while writing this” : I was in a sad mood and I needed a healthy way to release these emotions so now y’all get to suffer
No summary: it’s either porn or a small drabble and it all depends on the word count
Actual fic summary: *rocks back on old wheelchair* listen kid *smokes cigarette* I’ve seen and read a lot of things *blows smoke* and I know it’s hard but there’s still hope in this world ok? *looks into the distance* also you might wanna read the tags because the chances of gore and/or character death being in my fic have gone from 0 to 75