Snobby Woman I just ran a credit card for: I was in retail for years, and I know that these receipts need something underneath them or the pen won’t work. *puts the receipt on the counter and signs her name with a flourish* There ya go, dear.

Me After She Walks Out: Thank you for instructing me, oh great one, in the ways of using a fUCKING PEN that’s how they ALL work yOU ASS!