Here’s some straight up coldesthits bribery.

angrysouffle:

pod7et:

@fancythingsandgossamerwings – delete all of your comments and I’ll personally write you that Destiel ficlet in the style of Sammy’s story from Tales from the Bunker. I’ll even make it ABO since that’s what people assume. Or not, it’s your call … 

Hell, pick any damn character from the series and I’ll write some garbage interesting story about whatever ship you want in whatever style you want. All it takes are a few deleted comments!

We all know you want to know what happened to Dean and Cas after they left. Or what Crowley’s actual story looked like. Or what sort of fucked up shit Charlie gets into when she’s unsupervised. Or the awful teen wolf meta she writes about the inaccuracies of the show  (actually, I’ve never seen Teen Wolf, but I imagine they use different lore than supernatural).

@spncoldesthits, @rabidbinbadger (hey, you down for this?if not, I will torture myself with booze and google docs endure this burden for the both of us.)

@fancythingsandgossamerwings no don’t delete your comments. I will write you a Teen Wolf ABO fic right here right now if you don’t delete them.

I have never seen Teen Wolf, so here goes:

There’s this guy maybe his name is Derek or something like that and he’s hot and intense. Then he meets this other guy Terek and that’s how you get Sterek. Anyway they both have hair, like styled super cool. And maybe one of them is a cop. Some sort of undercover thing. Oh wait maybe they are werewolves. Um ok the alpha one, that’s the slightly taller one whichever one of them is taller is gonna be alpha in this fic okay. Derek um smells Styles (shit did i just mix in the 1D fandom, I don’t know) and goes into a rut. And Stiles goes into heat and they mate and theres some biting and growling and such. And then, whichever one of them has like darker season 4 Castiel hair, is like the dom. And doms the crap out of the other one. They pant all satisfied and then theres a hunt and Dean and Sam barge in and try to you know off them. But then they see them being super in love and Dean says “gosh I miss Cas right now” and he goes looking for Castiel. And Derek says to Stiles “angel role play?” And Stiles grins, wolfishly.

The end.

@fancythingsandgossamerwings in fact if you add a few comments to the @pod7et and @rabidbinbadger fics, i would write you a 5SOS fic of even worse quality. Tempting heh?