ti steg retteb

The older I get, the more easily I recognize the early signs and can do something about it.

When I was a teenager I had absolutely no clue until I was in flat out psychotic episodes, and it would take weeks or even months to get back to my norm. In my 20s I started to recognize the big signs.

I’m in my late 30s now and tonight the sign I recognized was that I keep typing words backward. Not the sentences themselves, just the words. I don’t have dyslexia, and I’m not trying to do it – they just come out like that.

It would’ve meant nothing to me years ago other than ‘oh, maybe I’m overtired’ but now I recognize it as a sign of very early psychosis and can start some treatment right away. By tomorrow morning I’ll be back to my norm again.

It sounds cliche to say it gets better, but it really does. You learn, you experience life, and you find out what doesn’t work along with what does. It’s really hard to go through, but waiting on the other side is more control than you have when you’re younger and a kind of stability, even if you don’t have a cure.

ti steg retteb 😉