i was talking to my sister on the phone the other day and she has a tendency to talk for several hundred years so eventually i got hungry and grabbed a rice cake and started to Munch and she goes “what’s that” and i said “i’m eating a rice cake” and she’s like “oh gross you like those?”

and without thinking i said, “they satisfy my urge to eat packing peanuts” and what followed was seven full seconds of silence

like oh okay go ahead and pretend you’ve never wanted to eat a packing peanut you pretentious fool