today was Not Good


And I really would like to distract myself, but if I whine about it first, that should help a little so here goes.

I’m going to put it under a cut because it’s really long and there’s ISSUES under there that not everybody would want to read.

Keep reading

5. the one slightly bright note about this day

was that
after Charlie and Marissa left, my mom and I were talking about what
we’d like done about the shop situation, and we’re usually in agreement.
We were joking about just saying “we’re done” and walking away, letting
Charlie and Marissa try to take it over. They’d fall flat on their face
because they don’t know how to run the POS, all the connections with
distributors are mine, and even if I gave them the passwords and all the
info I currently have, they wouldn’t be able to learn it all before
they ran the business into the ground.

I smiled and said that
would be a relief. To just walk away and tell them they can’t call me
for help or anything. Then I mentioned how beautiful Montana is. How the
cost of living is cheaper there. How we could get a big gorgeous house
for half the price of our current house.

My mom got a grin on her face and said, “So why don’t we do it?”

I was like BWUH?!

shrugged. “Why not? Your dad would probably be up for it. The three of
us don’t like this city anyway. I mean we’d really miss our house
because we love it, but wouldn’t it be worth it to be rid of the rest of
the family?”

I’ve never heard her talk like that before. I always
assumed if I moved away, it would have to be alone because there’s no
way in hell my mom and dad would ever think of moving, which also keeps
me here because I feel obligated to take care of them. All three of us
moving means I can still take care of them.

I still couldn’t
believe she was serious, but she was like “No, really. What would we
have to do here before you’d feel comfortable to move?”

I said I
want the money from the sale of the shop, And she asked how much I
thought I could get for it. I told her an amount, but that it would be
ten times that amount if we finished the construction, got the online
store + shipping up and running, and opened a small second store on the
other side of town – not including another tattoo shop, just a small
place for a second supply shop.

“And that’s all we have to do to
get TEN TIMES more for the place?” she asked. When I said I’m pretty
sure, she shrugged again and said, “So we should work toward that.”

don’t know if she’ll change her mind tomorrow, but she’s not a flighty
type of person. She doesn’t say stuff like that lightly.

of the mental issues, I have a hard time imagining a future different
than what I’ve got. I tend to live in the now, and if something is
awful, I can’t see a way out of it. It’s always been like that despite
my family trying to help me with it. But even a small sliver of hope
that this might not be what I have to deal with for the rest of my life
makes my chest feel just a little lighter.

Dunno if anything will come of it, but it’s a nice thing to fall asleep imagining instead of crying myself to sleep 🙂

today was Not Good

And I really would like to distract myself, but if I whine about it first, that should help a little so here goes.

I’m going to put it under a cut because it’s really long and there’s ISSUES under there that not everybody would want to read.

1. AC still has Addy

which is awesome, but on the way home after picking up Andre (because they’re only going to take him for overnight visits) he made the comment “I’m glad Addy doesn’t have to go to the babysitter anymore. She hits the kids.”

My aunt was driving, I was in the front seat next to her, and mom was in the back with Andre, and it was silent for a few seconds before my mom started in with calm questions, figuring out if what he said was really as awful as what he meant. And yup, the times she came home with little bruises or red spots, it was most likely because the sitter was hitting her, and the one time it was under her right eye – we thought she’d rubbed it a bunch while crying, but damn that was close to her eye!

We don’t know why Andre never told us. We’ve asked him before about the sitter. He only went a few times, but Addy was there five days a week, and she would cry every time we took her. We figured it was because she didn’t get along with some of the other kids.

Andre is 11 fucking years old and decided a babysitter hitting kids, including his own sister, wasn’t an important fact to bring up to ANY of us until after the woman quit and we aren’t taking her back anymore because she’s with her parents.

Addy is a very active kid – a tomboy and completely the opposite of her big brother. She gets bruises all the time, loves being outside and playing hard in the dirt and rocks. We had no reason to question it the marks. And big brother knew the whole time and said nothing.

I don’t really know what to say or do about that. We’re checking into how we can help Addy.  She’s young, but I’m sure you don’t forget shit like that easily.

2. we had a shop meeting tonight

and, as usual, it didn’t go well. Charlie (my uncle) constantly tells me “it’s your shop, just tell us what to do and we’ll do it that way” and then turns around and does things differently. There have been several Very Big Things he didn’t listen to me about with the renovations and it not only cost us more money, but there’s features we really wanted and needed that we just can’t have now because he brushed me off and did it however the fuck he wanted. He and his wife are hung up on the fact that I haven’t moved Saul from his old room to the new suite with the other guys.

I don’t know why they’re so stuck on it. It’s a selfish reason I’m leaving him there, and it’s extremely rare I make selfish business decisions. Also they’re pissed I used one of the six new rooms as a work room for making the supplies we’re going to sell. I needed a sterile environment, and they wanted to put it in the warehouse/storage area, which couldn’t have been kept clean. I also wanted it in one of the new rooms because then Evan could get to the room. He’s helping make things.

They’re so upset over those two issues and “now you can’t hire more guys to make more money!” that it’s driving my mom and I crazy. I don’t want to hire new guys right now. It’s hard enough managing the ones I do have, especially with Evan’s stalker and Ash’s physical issues and Ryan’s bitchy moody thing he’s been doing lately.

Forty-five minutes into the meeting, Charlie and Marissa STILL wouldn’t shut the fuck up, so I excused myself to go to the restroom and recoup a bit. When I came back they were gone. Apparently Charlie thought I was doing an “I’M OUTTA HERE” thing even though I said I was going to the restroom, and he decided he was done with that shit and stormed out.

I’m frustrated with my family on a daily basis anyway, but this does NOT help. Especially when I’m already having psych issues, my mom just recovered from 4 seizures in 5 days, and all the issues at the shop and the construction which is taking forever because Charlie won’t get the fuck out of bed because he’s too busy feeling sorry for himself.

3. Oh and Charlie and Marissa were also pissed AC took Addy back.

The kid is ecstatic over it and even kept trying to push us back into the car earlier when we were there to pick up Andre. She kept waving goodbye and kicking at us too. She WANTS to be with her parents. She’s happy there. Yet Charlie and Marissa are too busy wanting to control everything, including how other people raise their kids. Addy and Andre AREN’T THEIRS. Ugh.

So now instead of maybe getting more work done on the shop after 8 days of nothing (because Charlie was in bed all week feeling sorry for himself), Charlie is probably going to spend the next few days in bed feeling sorry for himself again.

4. AC and husband confirmed they’re not taking Andre. They’re only taking Addy. We’re stuck with him. My family is all excited and they swear he’s not a burden. It’s hard to agree with them when we all constantly have to think about him, have someone to watch him because he can’t be left alone, he always needs new clothes and food and my family won’t stop buying him toys, and constantly deal with his lying and issues at school. My hope AC would take him was a long shot, but damn it’s depressing to realize we’re stuck with him.



40+ year old men who seriously believe the young girls working at stores and restaurants are actually flirting with them just because the girls smile and are friendly are the most disgusting and terrifying things on this planet.

i keep getting messages from men over the age of 40 who were upset by this post and i’d like to sincerely thank them for proving my point so effortlessly. 

My dad and uncle have both admitted that even if a girl SMILES at them. Just smiles! Their first thought is that she’s flirting, and they constantly remind themselves with self-talk that it’s not true because of what they’ve learned over the years from really listening to women who say NOPE we’re really just being friendly and you’ll KNOW when we’re actually flirting with you.

Even though my uncle lost a lot of his filters and has issues with inappropriate behavior and impulse control issues ever since he had a traumatic brain injury 10 years ago, he STILL respects women and girls enough to not touch them inappropriately or make them uncomfortable with what he says.

So any disgusting prick who says they can’t help it or control it? Go fuck yourself with a rusty pipe.

replied to your post “yeah don’t do that”

Ugh, I HATE babysitter dads. Dads who see it as their responsibility to take care of their spawn are awesome. Dads who expect Mom/various other (nearly always female) relatives to do it for him need stabbing.
Of course if you’d tried to intervene to get that kid’s shoe back on, either you’re molesting his daughter or “Great! Nearby female will look after kid so I don’t have to!”

I’m pretty sure he’s the type who would’ve handed her over to me. I wasn’t showing any interest in the kid (because I don’t like kids – doesn’t mean I want them harmed, but I don’t want to be around them and they set off my sensory overload), but he was still trying to get me to empathize with his plight and seemed surprised when I said I don’t have kids.

It’s like dude YOU decided to have kids. Take care of your own child because that’s not babysitting. Do it without flipping out over inconsequential things like a flip flop. Treat your daughter like a human being. Otherwise I hope your wife divorces you and finds a decent father for your kids.

He needs stabbing. *nod nod*

yeah don’t do that

Dude came in with his 1.5-year-old and she had kicked off one of her flip flops, and he was trying to get it back on in a way only assholes can do – cram it on and freak out when it doesn’t work.

She started crying because she didn’t want it on, she wanted to hold it. Crying turned to screaming like she was being murdered, and dude just insisted she put it on.

She had the other one in her other hand, but the dude didn’t even notice it, and he got so frustrated he held her down ON THE FLOOR to put the flip flop on and said, “What’s wrong with you, are you fucking retarded or something?!”

Kid was too busy screaming to hear him, but I heard him just fine and managed to NOT murder the dude.

He’s got the 1.5yo today because his wife is in the hospital popping out another kid for this asshole. He usually doesn’t have to take care of her. He’s “babysitting” his own child for two hours in between the sister-in-law and his sister taking care of her.

I can’t do much for the kid because he wasn’t flat out abusing her (we’ve got cameras so I could’ve totally turned him in had he hit or shaken her but it’s illegal to record audio). I overcharged him for every single item he bought. Passive aggressive much?

He was too busy complaining about how hard it is to take care of kids and “do you have any kids?! man it’s so hard!!“ to realize what I had done.

If he ever does anything to her in my shop, I’ll have it on camera, and I won’t hesitate even a bit to turn him in. I didn’t see any obvious signs of abuse, so maybe he was just trying to be cool because he was in a tattoo shop. Lots of people do it and it in various ways and it turns out… awful. Not that it’s an excuse, I’m just hoping for the best for this kid and a situation I have no control over. Ugh.

This day is turning out to be much longer than I thought it would be with all this bullshit going on. And the kid screaming got my sensory overload going a bit. Hopefully that’ll chill.

It really should be legal to just stab people for being assholes, ya know? Of course then the hospitals would be overrun by all the stabbings.