conversation at the shop while we’re bored

Mom: Are you going to turn my skin into something when I die?
Me: It would be cool. All those pretty tattoos. Shame to just cremate all that.
Mom: I want to be a lamp.
Me: Yeah, that’d be cool.
Mom: What kind of lamp would you make me into?
Me: How about a strobe light?
Mom: Nooo! I don’t like strobe lights!
Me: But then when people asked about it, I could tell them no, she didn’t like strobe lights, she had seizures.
Mom: No, I don’t wanna be a strobe light. I don’t wanna be a hanging lamp either.
Me: Okay, how about a floor lamp?
Mom: Yeah, I’d like that! Look online. See how much it would cost.
Me: Yeah, like that search wouldn’t raise any red flags.
Mom: *grumbling* paranoid schizophrenic
Me: Besides, it’s free if I do it myself.