mayaliveblogs: crassion by thayerkerbasy

Title: Crassion
Author: @thayerkerbasy
Pairings:
Crowley/Balthazar
Word Count:
1150
Tags: Crowlazar, Balthaley
Link: AO3
Summary:

On the run from a godly-powerful Castiel, Crowley encounters someone
else on the new God’s hit list on what might be their last night on
Earth.

Seriously think about your life choices before clicking on the keep
reading cut. You probably don’t want to read this, don’t want to click
the link to the fic on AO3, and you should probably just move on for
your mental well-being.

Relatively tall, slender build, with bright blue eyes and ash blond
hair, he had chosen a reasonably attractive vessel to contain his
unimaginable form.  Crowley couldn’t help but wonder if the fellow had
been a washed up artist or an older male model before agreeing to be an
angel’s meatsuit, because his clothes straddled the line between
attractive and absurd.

I love this description! Perfect.

The angel smiled a lazy smirk.  “You know what they say about assuming.  It makes an ass out of you.”

“You mean, it makes an ass out of you and me,” said Crowley.

“Oh no,” replied the angel, “not me, darling.  Just you.  Well, at least in the context of assumptions.”

Eeeeeee! A+ on characterization! This interaction was awesome!

“Oh, I know,” replied Balthazar, ignoring his hand in favour of stepping closer to place an arm around his shoulders. 

I can just imagine Crowley’s face when Bal did this. And he probably cringed. Bal is so handsy!

It was suddenly obvious where Balthazar was going, but it was usually
Crowley who made such overtures, so he thought he could be forgiven for
taking so long to clue in.  “You want to be filled with hellish
delight, do you?  Have a devil of a time?”

Balthazar’s grimace was instantaneous.  “No, that’s awful.  Why would you reduce it to wordplay when you’re so bad at it?  I want to have the freak nastiest demon sex with the King of bloody Hell.”

This is GOLD. GOLD, I tell you! I’m giggling and Ryan is giving me strange looks. If he asks, I have no idea what I’ll tell him. And he”s a Supernatural fan. I might just have to traumatize him.

Drawing a deep, shuddering, (unnecessary) breath, Crowley said, “Why not occupy your time coming up with our ‘ship name?” 

I just let out a noise I assume only dying animals make. I think it was a laugh but my body didn’t know what to do with it.

Balthazar’s little chuckle was just as languid as everything else he did.  “Balthaley is horrid, as is Crowlazar.  Holy hell?” 

Damn, I liked Crowlazar. It sounds like either some kind of dinosaur or an undiscovered Pokemon. Damn, how this post is going to show up in a search for Pokemon.

“No, Crassion, as in Crowley-slash-passion, because if you’re not the angel of passion then I’m not sure what you are.” 

Aaaaawwww, that sweet-talking bastard!! *heart eyes*


Crowley didn’t waste his breath on a response, opting to conserve his
strength.  Equal parts eager and dismayed, he wondered whether Cas would
kill them fast or slow when he eventually got around to it.  Either
way, at least he didn’t have the energy to care. 

Crowley’s in for quite a night!

Maya’s Rating: Just the right amount of silly and slightly plotty PWP without pron (huh?!). Characterization very much appreciated. 10/10. Would giggle to that. Bravo!