A story for the SPN Coldest Hits contest. I think I’m just going to set all my coldest hits fics in Canada just for the pun of it.
As you should!
“Missed you, honey bee.” he crooned.
Castiel leaned over to Crowley’s ear and whispered, “Missed you too, brugmansia.”
Garth opened the door and the two quickly parted and resumed their bitch faces.
I’m cackling, they are adorable. Also, this will be the end of my live blogging even though it’s not technically the end of the fic, because there’s a PLOT TWIST and I don’t want to ruin it for you all. But it’s hilarious and @pod7et has spun one hell of a yarn. Go read it and leave lots of kudos and comments because this fic is amazing.
(tbh I forgot the title of my own fic and initially wrote ‘a patient’ as the title of this post instead of ‘his patient’)
“Do people even say ‘Daacturr’ in real life anymore?“ slips out of Dean’s mouth as he hears a nurse greet someone down the hall.
He’s on the stretcher, and if he wasn’t drunk and someone bothered to ask him, he’d tell them not to listen to a word that comes out of his blasted mouth.
His lower half throbs unpleasantly, he can’t feel his left arm, and he’s feeling light headed just because he decided to pick a fight with the wrong person.
Well, it’s not his fault the guy was insulting his choice of underwear. It’s not like Dean was telling him to wear panties.
As he is wheeled into a room, he giggles when he hears ‘Daacturr’ again.
Dr. Sexy is everywhere.
And then he promptly faints.
When Dean wakes up, he finds himself on a bed, air between his legs. He sits upward, looking around wildly.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck where is he?
He hopes that he hasn’t ended up on a chandelier again, as fun as it had been to impersonate Sia three weeks ago.
Dean is in the middle of a mini freak out when the hottest man ever walks into the room.
“Mr. Winchester,” he says, and Dean thinks holy shit this man is hawt ♥
“I’m Dorcot- sorry, Doctor Novak, and I’m here to inspect your body.”
“Omg reallllllly?” Dean questions, and then wishes to die, because how in the world did those words escape his mouth? He really needs a stopper on his mouth. Looking at the man, he can imagine just what the stopper needs to be.
“Yes, realllllly, Mr. Winchester.” The man says, smiling slightly, eyes crinkling up.
Okay, so the man is not only sexy as fuck, but has a sense of humor too.
Has Dean died and gone to heaven?
“Not at all, Dean. Can I call you Dean?”
“Okay, Dean- I’m assuming your silence on this matter to be confirmation- you were not drinking beer yesterday. You somehow ended up drinking a mixture of the Bear Beer and Speak Your Mind. Do you know what that is?”
Speak your mind… Dean has heard of it. Dean knows it is something he has heard of. He just doesn’t know what it is.
Shaking his head in negative, he leans forward slightly, eager to know what it is.
Oh shit, what if it is something harmful, dangerous, and Dean only has a day to live. What if… oh shit, what?!?!!
“No no no no no Dean, calm down, it is nothing bad. It just makes your tongue a lot looser.” The doctor hurriedly consoles the man.
Tongue looser my ass, Dean thinks, and then finally correlates the correlates what the doctor said with what he vaguely recalls Charlie telling him.
“Holy fucking shit. You mean… you are hearing everything I’m thinking?!”
“Yes, Dean. I’m hearing about how you want me to fuck you right this instant, right here, just like this.”
Dean doesn’t know what to say.
“Also, I really like your fashion sense.”
Dean is currently wearing nothing but hot pink panties.
@alessariel, how’s this for crack? 😀 (I’m sorry I’m literally so horrible at crack even though I say that I specialize in it.)
Also @setaeru Set, this is what I was talking about. XP