@gertiecraign
replied to your photo “Yup, Mr. Big Shot Daddy (aka Lee) posted this little beauty this…”

the mother of his children must feel so loved and respected.

The mother of his child is a very spoiled daddy’s girl who can’t keep a job longer than two weeks because she refuses to actually work and she demands money out of everyone around her, including her parents, who give it to her without question.

She’s stepped up a bit with taking care of the baby, but mostly her mom takes care of him unless he’s with Lee, but the ex won’t let Lee take him as much as Lee would like to.

I don’t blame Lee for being bitter about her, and he’s actually surprising me with how well he’s doing taking care of his own kid. He takes him whenever the ex will let him and sometimes that’s up to 4 days and night at a time, and he doesn’t complain, doesn’t have difficulties with him, just does the dad thing even when he’s up all night with a crying baby and still has to work the next day.

But still, he doesn’t have to be a dick about it.

@gertiecraign
replied to your post “@gertiecraign
replied to your post “bets, anyone?”
…”

but, dang…I mean, if they’re actually good at parenting their children, AND having their children will actually help them with their depression issues…it seems like the family is just trying to control AC and Husband…maybe trying to shame them into living up to their own expectations? Hell, I dunno. It sounds like there’s some high-speed bullshit goin on. I’m sorry, man. That’s gotta suck for everybody.

YES. THANK YOU!!!

No one in my family can see this or admit it.

And due to my schizophrenia, I tend to just assume weird thinking, delusions, and/or hallucinations is me and my schiz brain. But if you, someone who has never met any of them and is getting a taste of the situation can see my family is trying to control AC and Husband and shaming/forcing them into living up to my family’s “elevated” living expectations? Then it’s not just me.

Sometimes I’m not as crazy as I worry that I am.

Thank you 🙂

@gertiecraign
replied to your post “@gertiecraign
replied to your post “bets, anyone?”
…”

yikes. yeah…that’s a whole heaping pile of issues. dang. So…does your family not get the whole…the kids can live with their parents AND the family can be super active in the kids’ lives, too? Maybe go pick them up a couple times a week and hang with them? Give them whatever they feel is ‘missing’ in the environment where they’d be living with their parents? I mean, I know this is all just a rehash of what I’m sure you’ve already thought of and tried to tell them..

They don’t necessarily NEED to be active in the Addy’s life. They only saw her a few times over the first 13 months. In fact she still cried when my uncle picked her up because they hadn’t bonded yet.

under a cut for length

And with Andre, we raised him. It wasn’t until Addy came along that AC and Husband did the whole family thing. So he was already used to living with us and all bonded, so when they started keeping him at their apartment, we would pick him up Friday after school and drop him off Sunday night. He would stay with us during school breaks too, but the rest of the time he was with his parents and little sister, which I think is important.

So yeah, my family knows they can have the kids whenever they want. In fact AC was trying to get us to take Addy all the time but I put my foot down because I knew this situation would happen. It happened anyway, but for the first 13 months it didn’t.

They were kicked out of their apartment for not paying the rent. It’s not the first or even the 15th time they’ve been kicked out of an apartment/living situation. That’s just what they do. So I’m not sure why my family decided this time it was too much and took the kids.

AC and Husband were always trying to get us to take the kids, but raising kids is hard, and if we just said “you can handle this, you got it” AC and Husband would just work it out.

What my family thinks is missing in their living environment with their parents is money, a more expensive house (instead of a trailer or tiny apartment), and they also don’t like AC’s Husband. They think he’s an asshole. And he is, but he adores his kids and actually spends more time with them than anybody else. He’s good at dealing with Andre too even when AC isn’t.

My family swore the reason Andre was getting bad grades in school was because of his parents. Well the kid has been with us for four months, is going to be held back next year even though he got a clean slate when he changed schools, and constantly refuses to turn in homework and schoolwork. The same exact issues he had with his parents. And my family is very hands-on. When I pointed it out to them, they were like oh well he’s just having separation issues.

No. The kid thinks school is for playing with friends, not learning. He was always shit in school and it was a narrow miss each year we had him as to whether he was gonna fail that grade or not.

My family thinks their way of parenting is right and everybody else is wrong, including AC and Husband.

I’m just glad they’ve never tried to get CPS involved. CPS wouldn’t take them because they’re obviously well-cared for and there’s been absolutely no abuse, but it would royally piss of AC and Husband and I don’t even know what shit they’d pull then.

In the meantime AC and Husband are missing out on a the first times for Addy, Addy is developing serious behavioral issues that are going to last a lifetime, Andre is turning into a little thug, AC and Husband are so depressed they won’t get out of bed, and every bit of money and food stamps they get goes to their soda and pizzas instead of the kids, so we’re paying for the clothes, food, and schooling because Andre was kicked out of the public school for behavior problems. We’re also paying a sitter $125 a week to watch Addy when Marissa (uncle’s wife) could be doing it and saving the money. Instead she’s out buying toys and more clothes for the kids to spoil them while Addy is at the sitter.

I’m SO BITTER. I’m just ranting away at you. Sorry.
Thank you for the concern <3

@gertiecraign
replied to your post “bets, anyone?”

so…does AC ever actually parent this child? Does AC even want this child?

Yes and yes.

But not unless she’s MADE to do it. They’re actually decent parents (better than my uncle and his wife who are currently doing most of the child raising right now), but they won’t do a damn thing unless they’re forced.

And that’s why my family is driving me nuts. I keep trying to get them to just go and drop the kids off. AC and Husband would take care of them again if made to. They had Addy for the first 13 months of her life. We never took her overnight until she came up here to live with us, and Addy is now having behavioral/anger issues because she misses her parents.

But my family freaks out and thinks AC can’t do it and they don’t like the living situation, which smacks of classism because AC and Husband like the ghetto life and want to live there, but the rest of my family thinks it’s a terrible environment for the kids and it’s an awful way to live.

I grew up in the ghetto. We didn’t move out until I was 30. I know what it’s like there, and while I personally don’t want to live there, I have nothing against it, and AC and Husband have chosen to live there and like the lifestyle. I don’t get why they can’t also raise their children in their chosen environment.

So yeah, they would be raising the kids if they were made to. But my family isn’t going to make them. So we all have to suffer, including AC and Husband because they have depression issues and are miserable without the kids, which makes them stay in bed even more than they do already and they don’t even try to get jobs or do anything. At least when the kids are there, they function as a family.

In my not-so-humble opinion, whether you’re living in a tent or in a mansion, you should have the right to raise your children the way you see fit as long as the children have the basic necessities, including emotional necessities.

My family is also spoiling both kids rotten to the point where they’re becoming ungrateful and they’re both throwing temper tantrums all the time. My family doesn’t make them do anything. And Andre is gaining A LOT of weight because they don’t limit his food in any way and the kid doesn’t stop eating until he makes himself sick.

Sorry I rambled on. I’m just frustrated over this whole thing and so tired of it and I’m having a hard time with the building resentment toward not only AC and Husband, but also the rest of my family now.