replied to your post “@gertiecraign
replied to your post “bets, anyone?”
yikes. yeah…that’s a whole heaping pile of issues. dang. So…does your family not get the whole…the kids can live with their parents AND the family can be super active in the kids’ lives, too? Maybe go pick them up a couple times a week and hang with them? Give them whatever they feel is ‘missing’ in the environment where they’d be living with their parents? I mean, I know this is all just a rehash of what I’m sure you’ve already thought of and tried to tell them..
They don’t necessarily NEED to be active in the Addy’s life. They only saw her a few times over the first 13 months. In fact she still cried when my uncle picked her up because they hadn’t bonded yet.
under a cut for length
And with Andre, we raised him. It wasn’t until Addy came along that AC and Husband did the whole family thing. So he was already used to living with us and all bonded, so when they started keeping him at their apartment, we would pick him up Friday after school and drop him off Sunday night. He would stay with us during school breaks too, but the rest of the time he was with his parents and little sister, which I think is important.
So yeah, my family knows they can have the kids whenever they want. In fact AC was trying to get us to take Addy all the time but I put my foot down because I knew this situation would happen. It happened anyway, but for the first 13 months it didn’t.
They were kicked out of their apartment for not paying the rent. It’s not the first or even the 15th time they’ve been kicked out of an apartment/living situation. That’s just what they do. So I’m not sure why my family decided this time it was too much and took the kids.
AC and Husband were always trying to get us to take the kids, but raising kids is hard, and if we just said “you can handle this, you got it” AC and Husband would just work it out.
What my family thinks is missing in their living environment with their parents is money, a more expensive house (instead of a trailer or tiny apartment), and they also don’t like AC’s Husband. They think he’s an asshole. And he is, but he adores his kids and actually spends more time with them than anybody else. He’s good at dealing with Andre too even when AC isn’t.
My family swore the reason Andre was getting bad grades in school was because of his parents. Well the kid has been with us for four months, is going to be held back next year even though he got a clean slate when he changed schools, and constantly refuses to turn in homework and schoolwork. The same exact issues he had with his parents. And my family is very hands-on. When I pointed it out to them, they were like oh well he’s just having separation issues.
No. The kid thinks school is for playing with friends, not learning. He was always shit in school and it was a narrow miss each year we had him as to whether he was gonna fail that grade or not.
My family thinks their way of parenting is right and everybody else is wrong, including AC and Husband.
I’m just glad they’ve never tried to get CPS involved. CPS wouldn’t take them because they’re obviously well-cared for and there’s been absolutely no abuse, but it would royally piss of AC and Husband and I don’t even know what shit they’d pull then.
In the meantime AC and Husband are missing out on a the first times for Addy, Addy is developing serious behavioral issues that are going to last a lifetime, Andre is turning into a little thug, AC and Husband are so depressed they won’t get out of bed, and every bit of money and food stamps they get goes to their soda and pizzas instead of the kids, so we’re paying for the clothes, food, and schooling because Andre was kicked out of the public school for behavior problems. We’re also paying a sitter $125 a week to watch Addy when Marissa (uncle’s wife) could be doing it and saving the money. Instead she’s out buying toys and more clothes for the kids to spoil them while Addy is at the sitter.
I’m SO BITTER. I’m just ranting away at you. Sorry.
Thank you for the concern <3