Hallucifer is more than PTSD

hazeldomain:

So I’ve seen some discussion lately about Hallucifer, Sam’s memories of the cage, and what, exactly, Castiel “took” from Sam. We know Sam remembers his time with Lucifer in Hell, all the way up to season 11, and that it was an all-around bad time. 

So if Cas didn’t give Sam amnesia, then, what happened? 

I wanted to point out this scene from 7.01- Sam’s having some flashbacks of the cage and he starts having a nosebleed. 

Now in television, bleeding from the nose, eyes, and ears is generally associated with psychic exertion. We see these symptoms in people who are attempting to use mind-based superpowers. 

Sam gets almost the same result when he uses his blood-drinking boy!king powers to exorcise Samhain in 4.07. 

We get it again in 9.11 when Cas is getting Gadreel’s grace out of Sam’s body.

Cas bleeds from the nose and mouth after Raphael mojos him in 6.20. 

Facial orifice bleeding is pretty standard television code for one of two things: The person is using psychic powers, the person is being affected by someone else’s psychic powers.  

Now, Lucifer isn’t strong enough to send Sam visions until after the cage is damaged in Season 11, but I wonder if it’s possible for Sam to have carried a bit of Lucifer’s grace (and therefore influence) out of the cage with him when he was rescued? 

It would explain why Hallucifer manifests with distinctly non-mental symptoms such as nosebleeds, seizures, and being immune to prescription-grade sedatives. 

There’s also a not-insignificant visual correlation between Cas taking on Sam’s “hell damage-” 

And Dean taking the mark of Cain- another bit of meta-mental skullfuckery that originated in Lucifer. 

Just some food for thought. 

I’ll cut and paste from a post I made a long time ago:

What I Think Hallucifer Is: Sam’s hallucination. That’s it. Just
Sam’s poor mind dealing with everything that happened to him in the
cage.

My Headcanon: Hallucifer is Lucifer projecting himself to
Sam from the cage, able to do so because of a bond they created in Hell,
and all those years in the cage with Sam have changed Lucifer to the
point where he’s a teasing, almost-goofy bastard instead of the angel we
saw in Season 5.

The whole thing with Sam having PTSD and hallucinations in Season 7, it just really made me appreciate Jared’s acting. I was blown away by that whole thing and at the time I wondered where he went in his head to do that because damn. Having had hallucinations my whole life, I kinda glommed onto how well Jared did it.

I think the writers meant Hallucifer to simply be a hallucination, which didn’t cut it for me and is why I headcanon it the other way.

It’s been talked about before how something is left with the host, and there’s a reason why Sam and Dean are vessels able to hold archangels, and if there was something left over in Sam, it stands to reason that Lucifer would be able to keep that connection even though he’s in Hell and Sam’s topside.

Moving on to what Cas took.

Since Season 4 I’ve believed that Cas did something to Dean when he pulled him out of Hell, and when Season 7 rolled around I figured he did it to Sam too.

It’s my opinion that what Cas took is the damage, the dangerous and destructive part of those years in Hell that would’ve made the guys non-functional topside, and I’m not the only one who thinks this.

Being in Hell for so long, both of them should’ve had a shitload more trouble adjusting to being topside again, but when we see Dean in Season 4 he quickly adjusts. Yes, he drinks and has difficulties, but it’s a little disproportionate to the literal Hell he endured, in my opinion. Same with Sam having been shoved into a cage with Lucifer for THAT long. He was messed up, but after Cas “helped” he was disproportionately better given he still has memories. He doesn’t have amnesia.

It’s like Cas put a soft cushion around the awfulness, muted those memories, and took the damage himself, sacrificed himself.

I may have blathered on a bit, and I’m not sure if I said what I was trying to say. Oops 😀

But I’m just very interested in the whole Hallucifer thing for reasons 😉