anarchycox:

This is for smightymcsmighterton

Okay Kingsman in a world with magic, but it is all small magics – start your car without keys, make your vegetables grow better, turn your regular milk to chocolate, when you kiss a child’s scrape better it gets better. Kitchen magic.

Only Eggsy has even less, because his mum hadn’t had any. He has precisely one thing he can do, but actually he loves it. Because it fucks with people.

“Hmmm like pulling on those pretty blond locks.” the guy on smith street says as Eggsy is on his knees.

“Dumb fucking blond” Dean says throwing a bottle at his head.

“Hey blondie” his fellow marines say.

“Who let the blond pretty boy into this?” Charlie asks with a sneer.

“He’s not blond.” Merlin says idly and Eggsy pauses and looks at him. Merlin offers a small smile.

It becomes a weird debate when people are bored around the office. He’s a light blond, no more a medium, no dirty blond. And Merlin going around just saying “He’s not blond.”

There is a mission and Eggsy has to look goth and they all laugh at his black hair with purple tips. Another time his hair is red.

Roxy asks how he isn’t killing his hair with these colour changes but then again less bleaching for blonds.

Merlin rolls his eyes, “He’s not blond.”

Finally there is a meeting one day of the table. It is long and boring and Eggsy starts to get restless and not thinking runs his fingers through his hair and changes it’s colour by a few degrees.

The table all look at him. Eggsy flushes wondering why they are staring. He runs his fingers through his hair again and again it is a few shades darker.

“That’s your magic – you can change your hair colour?” Roxy’s mouth drops open.

Eggsy realizes what’s going on. “Oh yeah, all I can do but it’s fun to mess with people. I mean do you know how many stupid conversations you all have had about my hair? On missions? In the middle of killing people? Merlin’s let me listen to the feeds. It’s hilarious.”

Eggsy ran his fingers one last time and his hair was its natural medium to light brown.

The whole of the table looked to Merlin. “And how did you know he wasn’t blond?” one of them asked.

Merlin just smirked, “He doesn’t change all his hair colour.”

Eggsy choked on the water he was drinking. Harry broke decorum and gave Merlin a high five.