soulmate marks where the first thing your soulmate says to you is tattooed on your body, but its something that happens when you MEET them

so you aren’t born with it, it just shows up the first time they speak directly to you, and you may not realize it happened until days after the fact

or maybe you’re at the beach or something and you get to watch as your casual exchange with a stranger LITERALLY SHOWS UP ON THEIR BODY TWO SECONDS AFTER IT LEAVES YOUR MOUTH

idk soulmate marks are so silly I love them

“Hey dick-for-brains, stop stepping all over my goddamn towel!”

“Jesus christ, I’m sorry, I don’t have my glasses on.”

“Oh, uh. I. I’m sorry, no, its my bad, uhm. Do. Uh. N-no hey, wait, can you like seriously not see right now?”

“No, I–why?”

“Where, uh, where’re your glasses at?”

“By…the rest of my shit, is–did–”

“No, its fine, I’m just–I think maybe I should, like, accompany you? Back to them? Because I have something to apologize for that you can’t see just yet–”

“…do I have ‘Dick for brains’ written on my chest right now.”

“Y-yes. Fuck I’m so sorry.”

Reblogging again!

i need a 100k fic of this stat

blitzdrake: copperbadge: mia7437: loosellps: asynca: The Scottish Widows ads are next level What service does this company offer??????? TBH it doesn’t matter what service they offer. I’m just assuming it’s a front for a network of hitmen. holy shit it’s a life insurance and pensions company I assumed it was a historical drama about the …

Sam can’t help himself when he sees Cas in the black button down shirt and clerical collar. An angel playing a priest. He leans in, brushing his fingers over Cas’ right shoulder as he whispers in Cas’ ear, pushing him against the wall in the church foyer. Cas’ breath catches, and Sam takes it as a yes, reaching down to palm Cas’ half hard dick through the pressed slacks. Sam feels a little smug when a flustered Cas hurries out of the church with a wet spot on the front of his slacks. -S!PA


*ovaries explode*


It started off as a game of chicken. Dean should’ve known better. Sam never backs down. Ever. So he finds himself in nothing but a tshirt, bare ass on the back seat of the Impala, Sam’s big hand wrapped around his cock and stroking. Dean wonders how many other guys Sam’s done this to, and when he looks Sam in the eye, Sam smirks and says, “They all looked like you.” Dean comes hard, leaving Sam’s hand messy, and he groans pathetically when Sam licks himself clean, looking right at him. -S!PA


… I have ascended. Fuck.


Hannibal Season 4 Scenario


I blame this wholly on @victorineb, who popped this idea into my head…

A woman sidles up to an attractive gentleman at a dog park in Argentina, and smiles. 

“Which one is yours?”

“The big one playing in the corner by the tree.”

“Cute! I have the golden retriever over there with the stick.”


“Don’t think I’ve seen you here before…”

“We were irregular visitors until recently. But I’m committed to making the journey at least once a day. Will gets destructive if he’s too sedentary.”

“Oh, I know about that! Moose ate a pillow last week, didn’t you buddy?”

“Ah yes, Will has ruined several sets of sheets, a painting and a roast.”

“Awwww, well it’s good you’re getting him outside, letting him run it all off.”

“Yes, well, one can hope.”

“You could always crate train him if you need to.”

“You know, I’ve attempted that, but he always gets out. He also complains so bitterly.”

“Lots of barking, huh?”

“Hmmm? No, cursing mostly, a few empty threats…”



“Will…isn’t a dog?”

“No! He’s that handsome creature waving his middle finger at me over there.”