thought disorders and writing: opinions, please?

I’d like to get opinions on a writing project I’ve been working on for a while now.

I’m schizophrenic. One of the many symptoms associated with that is disorganized thinking. A lot of my memories are non-linear, and it’s hard to associate things like time/date+event+feelings+outcome+relationship to other things/people/events. In other words, I can remember a lot of details about events in my life, but it’s difficult, if not impossible, to remember when it was, how I got there, etc.

The project I’m working on is an autobiography in fiction-like style third person limited, because again that’s how my brain works. When I think back to events, I see it from outside myself – another thing a lot of schizophrenics have.

A lot of people have expressed interest in not only my family life (because we weird, but we’re interesting!) and the schizophrenia itself, but the problem I always run into is it’s difficult for me to create something like this and make it linear or easily understandable. Flashbacks in stories aren’t all that odd, but this is different. And I would imagine it would be fairly confusing to readers.

But at the same time, isn’t that part of what’s interesting about my brain? If people truly want to peek into a schizophrenic’s brain, would they like the fact that they’re confused and being dragged right along with how disorganized my thinking is? Or would it be so confusing that people wouldn’t want to touch it?

So far my project consists of chunks of my life, like random scenes popping up with no rhyme or reason and almost completely unrelated to each other. Each one is entertaining or whatever, but put them together into a chapter-by-chapter format, and the average person would probably be like “uhm whut?!”

My question to anybody reading this, no matter what your brain is like (even if you have schizophrenia yourself), is should I just go with it? Or should I try and plan this out into some form of organization?

writers block

I’ve been struggling with this for a year now. Even when I do have the desire to write, I don’t have time or nothing comes out.

But I just filled out a survey about OCs and as I was doing it I had TWO new ideas for CON ‘Verse! It kinda got me excited to try it out.

I don’t know if it’ll flow once I open word processing program, but I haven’t felt that excitement inside – that one in the pit of my stomach going up to the bottom of my lungs – for a while now 🙂